Jess' NaNoWriMo Journal (nano_jess_y0) wrote,
Jess' NaNoWriMo Journal

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A bit of a commentary

I've been on-and-off working on the manuscript, but both RL and my life OL have been disrupting me. I've still been thinking about the TWTA people, every now and then I'll come up with a line for one of them or something will happen and I'll think, "Whoa- remember that- that's going in the novel."

Tonight, well, this morning, I started thinking about it enough to write it again. I have a clear-ish idea of where it's going, and I seriously want to finish it.

Awhile ago, a friend in the fanfic community I hang out in, nothingbutfic, asked us about how our worldview or philosophy gets expressed through our writing. I hope this isn't an expression of some dark subconscious thing within me- it's essentially saying that everyone's a hypocrite, groups of people make people stupid, and you are going to get fucked over by practically anyone.

I've realised a couple of things: firstly, that the story is a lot more about Brett than I thought it was when I started it. I don't know what Brett is meant to represent. Maybe what happens to someone when they've been corroded by a system and made to believe in it. What happens when you believe in logic so much that you become illogical and senseless. Maybe Brett is symbolic of what I fear the education system is doing to people. I'm not sure.

Speaking of Brett, his whole fucked-up-ness is seriously, well, sad. I don't quite know why again- because he's a fairly ruthless creature, but in his own way, he's been made to be ruthless, and he's lost his sense of self while everyone thinks he's so bloody perfect and together. And he is passionate about a couple of things- his thing about music, for one, and it's almost touching.

Anyway, I just put Chapter Five up and out. I'm getting back into it... *nods*
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